I'll Be Home for Christmas 2014: Day 1

Woke up in the morning feeling a little less [bleep]y.

"If only I had a bottle opener, I could have one of my Topo Chicos," I thought. Check out is at 11, but I should be nearly out of Arkansas by then. I injured a toenail on the hotel bed, early in the morning.

I spent the first hour I was awake getting ready and writing down tedious directions to I-55N, only to discover at the end that I only saved 20 minutes by taking the tedious US highway system instead of 55 the whole way to 39. I took my elaborate combination of medications - prescription and OTC cold medications - and added some photos to yesterday's post before I set out.

The TV in the hotel room taught me that I do not understand Pokemon.

I left my hotel and went through Little Rock before dawn, in the rain. One of the radio stations on the low end of the dial - 88.3 - had this gravely voiced guy as a DJ, and he introduced me to this song.

As I continued to drive in Arkansas, I found a Throwback Hip Hop station, and went back to the station that "played everything", which was mainly pop hits from the last 40 or so years, but it was more diverse than most stations.

I stopped at a Love's in Palestine, AR and caught a glimpse of a magical truck. I drove over to the truck area, inadvertently, and as I realized my mistake and began turning around, I saw that another car had decided that I looked like I knew where I was going and followed me. After parking in the car area, going in the store, then back out to photograph the magical truck, I took a picture of the birds in the sky.

Finally, I walked over and took a photo, including a (not shown) selfie, of the magical truck.

You're seeing that right.

I spent an inordinate amount of time in the Love's, then in my car, doing Facebook things and texting. Finally, I left the truck stop and was back on my way.

No, thank you!

I was back on the road again, and at one point, passed a car completely engulfed in flames. Eventually, I left Arkansas and the amazing radio stations to enter the state that I would later come to despise.

You keep using that word. I don't think you know what it means.

At first, I was able to tolerate the billboards. Then, I was offered a candy cane at Burger King when the worker wished me Merry Christmas. Obviously, I celebrate Christmas, but knowing people who don't (Jewish, Russian Orthodox who have Christmas on a different day, former Jehovah's Witnesses), it felt very aggressive.

[photo of the building for sale in Scott City]

Then there was the final billboard that I saw when I stopped for gas. At that point, my goal became to get the hell out of this state as fast as I could.

I had to photograph this, come on.

It's just THERE.

Then, before I knew it (seriously, I missed the Welcome to Illinois sign and forgot my US geography), I was in Illinois. 55 stretched on forever, then I stopped in Atlanta again for gas and some dinner. The wrap I had was terrible, but I ate it, and resolved to just go to Rudolph.

I got to 39, finally. Passed many signs for Peoria, the home of one of the prophets of my Taco religion (though he doesn't know it yet) and favorite blogger, and got to the toll before the border to home. Across the border, a Culver's billboard welcomed me to Wisconsin, then another one advertised the Ho-Chunk Casino. I felt it fitting.

Before I knew it, I was in Janesville and decided to stop at a Kwik Trip. However, the exit I got off on had no such things, despite the signs, so I went one exit up. I discovered that I was at the end of my rope at that point. Problems at the gas pump made me get all yelly, but I got out and back on the road.

About 20 miles south of Plainfield, perhaps more, the fog set in, making visibility impossible. I slowed to the 40's and watched for deer. I saw a sign for Hancock, the exit before Plainfield, then finally, I got to Ed Gein's hometown for the most harrowing part of my journey.

State highways, in the dark, in the fog. Thankfully, deer hunting season had just ended, so there would be fewer deer out. One car kept on my bumper until I pulled over at an intersection. Then, finally, I got to town - sort of. Over Lake NEPCO, and past the Tractor Supply Store, into Wisconsin Rapids I went. I sent my mom a photo from one of the last red lights before the few miles between Rapids and their house.

5-10 minutes from home.

AAAAAAANNNDDD, by 11:20, I arrived at home in Rudolph.....

My clock is 1 hour, 6 minutes ahead.

I talked to my parents for a while, then had a hard time getting to sleep. It appears, in retrospect, to have been the worst of my congestion, since no nights since have been that bad. I finally got to bed at 4am on Christmas Eve...